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韓國光州的想像

Chia: I just came back from May 18 cemetery...
The cemetery is very peaceful, but i feel sad when i am there, especially when i look at the photos on the tombstone.

 me: 全部被殺害的都埋在那嗎?

 Chia: No there is just about 200 graves there, because during the riots, so many were killed and hastily buried. This cemetery is built many years later and the remains of some of the victims were reburied there...
No one know exactly how many people were killed during the riots...

 Chia: At least in the cemetary, some of the victims will be remembered as heroes in , hopefully forever.

 me: 那個有很多逝者人頭照的紀念館,是不是和柬埔寨的S21罪惡紀念館很像?

 Chia: Yes. I also saw a lot of graves with no pictures on them but only an image of 's national flower. I don't know what it means , maybe they had no photographs taken while they were alive.
 I took many photos of the dead people's portraits from the graves until my camera had no memory.

 Chia: I'm glad to have this feeling..

 me:甚麼樣的感覺?

 Chia: The feeling that I am curious about these peoples lives.
I am also thinking about our own 513...

  ...they may 18 victims are now celebrated as heroes...

 me:我想,我們想的是一樣的……

Chia: ..but our 513 victims are still ambiguous..

 me: 我們的513是需要更長的時間才能公開討論的。

Chia: yes, and this can only happen if the government is run by a new political party..

 me: 其實以往在台灣時,我覺得他們有一歷史事件是和我們513很像的,叫228,但他們現在已可以公開討論了。
而我根據你之前告訴我的,倒覺得韓國的518和泰國70年代的一場學生民主運動很像。或許你可以詢問一下和你一起的泰國藝術家。

Chia: ...it seems like every country has a 513 of its own.
He did mentioned briefly about it, I'll take to him later.

 me: 唔…我還是覺得不太一樣,我們的513和韓國的518是不太一樣的,但相同的是整個社會的集體傷口。

Chia: i mean that there is a point that people are being slaughtered by their own government.
There is a time when the people are killed and later people's consciousness and national feeling is associated with these feelings.

 me:這樣說起來,我倒想起我去過的中國天安門、台北的228公園,泰國的法政大學、柬埔寨S21罪惡館都是這樣……其實我們鄰近的國家都曾發生過……不用說現在的緬甸…….

Chia: but that is something you can explore better in your work than me.

me:或許,因為很多造訪的記憶都成了我思考的一部份,對於我,許多人不知道這些事情,是難以理解的。

Chia: you will be surprised how many people don't know and therefore don't care about things like this.
and events would have to be repackaged and rewritten for every new generation...

because every new generation has its own way of life.

 me: 我們沒有說出口的歷史真相,並不代表我們的潛意識不意會到其的「存在」。像我家族歷史和共產黨的關聯,大人在我孩童時從沒有告訴過我甚麼,並不代表那時的我沒有「感受」到。

Chia: but your children will have even less feeling about how you felt.
so you have to write about it for our generation, and your children will have their own spokesman.

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